No, my child is just fine My son Wyatt was born with the assistance of a wonderful midwife at home on June 17, 1994 - the day the infamous O.J. Simpson was followed by millions of viewers riding down the L.A. freeways in a white Bronco. Wyatt was awake and screaming for food every two hours until he was two and a half years old. As a baby there were signs that he wasn't quite the way other babies acted - he would make self-stimulatory motions with his hands and refused to make eye contact even with someone inches from his face. He made the advances other babies made, a tad delayed, but went into a semi-silent world around 18-20 months, during the period toddlers receive the Measles Mumps Rubella [MMR] vaccination. His head was rather large for his body and became the directional guidance if tipped in any direction while standing. He was tested for hearing, vision and language, showing a major delay in the latter. Wyatt's brother, Cody, was then born at home and 2 years later his father and I entered divorce, though not due to the issues with Wyatt as happens with so many families.

PDD NOS… "What does THAT mean?" So read the diagnostic abbreviation clearly typed on the report I received in the mail after spending an anxiously awaited day at the University of California San Francisco with my son and the distinguished Dr. Bryna Siegel, Director of the Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) Clinic. My son had just turned 4 years old at the time and his diagnosis was "PDD-Not Otherwise Specified", meaning a specific diagnosis such as Autism was not appropriate but there were social, speech and behavioral delays with nuances thereof. With this tidbit of information our lives began down a different path than we had expected.

Following this diagnosis were years of fighting the California school system, now touted as one of the worst in the United States, to provide special needs services for my son. A private school was also unable to accommodate my son's behavior problems which included monopolizing the teacher's attention and the inability to sit up on his own due to weak torso muscles, thus leaning on teachers and assistants. His head-banging on walls, cement walkways or anything else within a foot of him scared the staff immensely. He would wander off and play in a corner alone or find something to focus on and just stray. He rarely made eye contact and for the most part was only comforted by deep compression of his entire body. We were advised we needed to "find a different solution". Translation: Don't let the door hit you on the way out.      

Entering the public school system at Kindergarten meant years of child advocacy fees and fees for private speech therapy, meetings with teachers and special needs staff, non-reimbursed privately paid evaluations, and anguish. Although an integral part of his services, individual speech therapy at school was removed by his teacher during that first year because he had passed (by one point) a 20-year old test which did not even cover his pragmatics and is no longer used in private practice. Only an independent evaluation and threatening legal suit at district level with the resulting report and professional suggestions brought it back as part of his IEP, or "Individualized Education Program". Subsequent years introduced blatant lies and games played with us and other parents by school staff as to whether services were really being provided or not.

Another diagnosis a year later by Dr. Deborah Sedberry of Oakland Children's Hospital finally gave us something to work with, school-wise and in other areas. "This is a textbook case of Asperger Syndrome". At the time this did not fall under Autism in medical realms, though today it is more thought of as similar to high functioning Autism. Services available through Regional Centers in Northern California were denied my son because "it's not straight Autism".

Through the public school system we were finally able to meet my son's individual needs after 3Ѕ years of fighting and thousands of dollars: Speech therapy, occupational therapy (OT), adaptive Physical Education, behavioral support and a one-on-one aide throughout the school day. His team at Black Lake Elementary of Olympia is wonderful and we couldn't ask for more caring and supportive individuals.

Public schools are run similar to a business in that monies are paid to schools for attendance of a special needs student and are paid out by the respective schools and district for whichever services are provided, both internally and under contract. Of course, if less services are provided to students and thus less expenses are incurred there is certainly a higher margin per head. Business 101. Parents are so very unaware of their legal rights and of what services are available through the system - it is truly disheartening. In defense of public schools, there is only so much money to go around with a growing need for services to students. Private schools in general are not able to meet the needs of many such students so an increasing number of parents choose to homeschool, something which is under fierce fire from those in favor of public schools. I am not complaining about local Washington schools who have helped us immensely, rather explaining experiences gained from the California schools. We whole-heartedly support homeschooling efforts to address the needs of these children, and I had started doing this part-time at home because he was so bored at school (2nd & 3rd grade in school, already bored with 6th grade software).

In speaking with a number of men who had done martial arts for discipline and physical activity, many had suggested the art of Jiu Jitsu. This is a martial art which uses body leverage in favor of punching and kicking, my son's mimicking aggressive moves at inappropriate times being the reason for this choice. Jiu Jitsu helped my son with building physical strength and coordination plus self esteem. Since he was uncomfortable being the complete focus of individual sessions, his younger brother gladly stepped in and shared this time in order to prove his worthiness as his opponent. Sibling rivalry at its best! In addition, it is common for special needs children to be the target of demeaning comments and actions by other children - and even adults - so this was also a way for him to be able to defend hims if necessary. Wyatt had continued with Kajukenbo but the noise level, expectations and activity was too much for him in group as well as individual sessions. Again, he would also mimic at inappropriate times and created concerns at school with requests to discontinue this activity due to zero tolerance of violence at school.

Dietary alterations and bodywork positively affected his behavior and sensory stimuli tolerance. Per several online support groups there are many stories of positive changes in children's behavior and physical well-being when dairy, gluten/wheat, soy, sugar, food coloring, eggs and a number of other culprits are removed from meals and calcium/magnesium/vitamin B-6 added to the dietary intake of these children. Some use enzyme therapy with positive results. "Brushing" of a child's body with a special rectangular plastic soft-bristled brush helps to relax sensitivity to sensory stimulation. Use of essential oils stimulates the olfactory nerve, which initiates chemical communication in the brain and can calm the child experiencing tantrums and change moods from anxious or angry to a more relaxed state. Epsom salt baths and cream tend to help many and I have personally seen some very interesting improvements such as very clear and focused thinking and speech, after such a bath. Also something which helped was a magnetic sleep system, which helped pull him into a deep sleep and allowed his brain to process language better. Having training in bodywork for special needs children I would also do slow massages with a home-blend of oils and salts. Many parents choose the allopathic route and medicate their children with such products as Ritalin™. Each family must know what is best for them and must consider all side affects and health risks.

Something very frustrating for parents not sure of the situation is the resistance to speak up by people afraid of hurting anyone's feelings by mentioning "there might be some issues here" rather than saying something for the good of the child by alerting the parents to observations and knowledge so they could deal with the child's problem. Had someone swatted me in the face with reality while I was sleep deprived, not understanding what was going on and others in denial, I would have taken action much earlier than I did. It frequently takes months of paperwork and waiting for appointments to get into speech and psychological evaluations. Now the diagnosis of Autism has reached approximately (and unofficially) 1 in 100 children per my recent discussion with a local Lakewood, WA Neurologist who works daily with Autistic children.

I ask you as a parent that if there is any concern whatsoever that your child might have learning disabilities, sensory issues or language delays - please do not hesitate to visit your pediatrician or health care provider, bring your concerns to their attention and demand evaluations by specialists should your concerns grow. Trust your gut feeling. The earlier you address such issues, the greater the opportunity for your child to reach their full potential through your and others' intervention. Our pediatrician said "boys talk later…" and "diet has nothing to do with it…" I should have changed care providers on the spot and regret staying.

Our precious little Wyatt was killed in a car accident on August 19th, 2003 on I-5 in Tumwater, WA along with his father. His younger brother survived the fiery crash thanks to the quick thinking of other drivers and we are grateful to no end. We started the Wyatt Holliday Foundation in his spirit to help others avoid similar experiences and to support them in their fight to do what is right for their children by providing information.

Thank you for caring, and hug your kids.

Therese Holliday
aka Wyatt's Mom